Friday, September 30, 2011

a somewhatwhere prayer

I've decided that we have not the money to dye my hair nor do I have the time to pluck the greys. In Minnesota my mother stands next to me in the bathroom, ruffles my hair, "Aren't you a little young to..." she trails off, leaving her question there.

I shrug out from under her hand, trying to duck the physical manifestation of Time Passing.

We are there to celebrate my sister, who has built and birthed another baby. She is a beautiful girl, tiny and quiet.

Here are our three children in a room. We clamor around them. I can't seem to get my head around the way life moves. Why doesn't everyone else seem so amazed? Yet, you must be thinking: Aren't these boring revelations? To sit around oohing at the stars, talking about infinity?

We vascillate between this lucidity and the slow sound of PJ Harvey's voice steady in the air, "Is that all there is? If that's all there is, my friends, then let's keep dancing. Let's break out the booze..."

We attend a wedding in my hometown of Fargo, North Dakota. We visit Dave's family in nearby Thief River Falls. His great-great-grandfather's homestead proudly marked "1904." Dave's father still owns the land and farms there, every season. The horizon just sits there, a cornflower blue sky floats silent & still atop the empty fields. What are we doing, running around like rats in the city?

The thought is full. For a moment. We drive back. Every choice we ever made bringing us back to what we've chosen.

I accept this dream we've built. Knowing it's ours. The dream of us. The dream of our family.

New babies & future babies we tightly love. The weddings and funerals that tick off Time for us. The grey hairs that grow. With life so full of gladness & sadness.

May all of our baggage be full of blessings. Amen.

Dax in front of his great-great-great grandfather's homestead in Thief River Falls, Minnesota


starnes family said...

So beautifully written.

We, too, have chosen San Diego as our home......after living in Texas, Louisiana, Colorado and Kansas. I miss things about each of those places and especially during the fall.....there is no place like the glorious Midwest when the leaves change.

And, each time I question our decision and miss those things, I go watch a sunset over the Pacific. I take my son surfing. I plan a day at Disneyland.

It all makes sense then. :)

Minimalist Mommi said...

This is just beautiful! I too love to revel at life's intricate beauties. They help me remember what's important in life. Also, I'm often questioning why we are where we are after leaving somewhere amazing. Unfortunately, we aren't at a place where it feels like our dream. I hope we can achieve that place as you have :)

Holli said...

I too love to sit and revel at life and what's going on around me... this was beautiful Darcy.

Anonymous said...

Lovely Darc-
see u soon- more memories coming-
lov, mome

Phoenix said...

Wonderful post, Darcy. I love the sentiment here. Why is that we feel time pass faster in autumn than any other season?

I hope your life continues to be blessed, in every way imaginable.

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